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Episode 28: Giving and Receiving
When I started writing these stories, I never imagined I'd make it to nearly thirty. At first I did my best to avoid making them serial - each one too dependent on the last - but lately there have been a lot that flow together chronologically. Going forward, we'll take a break here and there from that flow to look back at a few incidents from various times in Hannah's recent past. This one takes place shortly after Episode 8. Enjoy! --The Author
Sixteen-year-old Hannah Jamison stood slightly hunched over the bathroom sink, as she put the finishing touches on her mascara. Finally satisfied with the work she had done on the delicate lashes around her clear blue eyes, she took a minute to look in the mirror. Her long, golden blonde hair, smooth and straight as always, was pulled back into a partial ponytail, the way she often did it. She wore a long-sleeve shirt buttoned partway up, with a simple white camisole underneath, a knee-length denim skirt and white tights. She moved a little closer to the mirror and turned to admire her tiny blue earrings, a Christmas gift from her boyfriend Chris. She'd only had them a few weeks, and was still totally in love with them. Simple but cute, they fit her style perfectly.
She frowned, though, as she saw herself jerk with a hiccup, and a sharp *hic* escaped her lips. She'd had the hiccups practically since she'd rolled out of bed, and she was far too accustomed to her almost daily hiccups to be particularly annoyed by them. She was simply frustrated that for the third straight week, she'd be going to church with the hiccups.
Hannah had periodically attended church with her friends the Beloits for years, but over the past few months that she and Chris had been dating, she had become more involved at their church, and went nearly every week now. Everyone at church loved her - how could they not? - and no one gave her a hard time about her frequent hiccups. Yet she still felt self-conscious knowing that she was interrupting the service. The youth Bible study class that she, Chris, and Amanda went to first was fine: the informal atmosphere and open conversation made her feel comfortable with participating, even with the hiccups. But in the actual service, during Scripture reading, prayers, and sermons, her hiccups seemed so out of place. Although most regular members were familiar enough with Hannah's hiccups that they gave her no more than a sympathetic glance, she knew that she had to be pretty distracting. Last week she had left partway through the sermon, but then she felt like she was missing out on the service, not to mention that getting up and leaving was kind of distracting, too!
Despite the aggravation of having to cope with the hiccups again this week, she still looked forward to going to church, so she put the unhappy thoughts behind her as she returned to her room. A glance at her watch told her that the Beloits would be by any minute to pick her up. Slipping on her shoes and grabbing her Bible, she headed outside to wait for them. It was wintertime, but the day was mild and sunny. She considered going back in for a jacket, but figuring it would only get warmer as the morning progressed, she decided against it.
Within a couple minutes, the Beloits arrived to pick her up. "Good m- *hic* morning!" she greeted them cheerfully as she climbed into their minivan.
"Hey Hannah," Sarah and Amanda said, practically in unison.
"Good morning, cutie!" Mr. Beloit replied with a smile.
"Hey, that's my line!" Chris protested. He gave Hannah a kiss on the cheek as she slid into the seat next to him.
Hannah giggled. "Thanks, Mr. *hic* Phil." Then she gave Chris a kiss of her own.
"You look so cute today," Chris said softly.
"Awww *hic* thanks, you look pretty nice your-*hic*-self," she answered. "By the way, *hic* have I mentioned I loveeee-*huck* these earrings?"
Chris smiled as he looked at them. "I think you did once," he teased. "I'm glad you like them, they look even prettier on you than I thought they would."
"Thanks! I think they *hic* go great with this shirt!"
After a few moments, Chris took her hand in his. "How are you feeling this morning, sweetie?" he asked. "Your hiccups are adorable."
Hannah sighed. "I'm good," she said. "Not *hic* quite as excited about th-*huck* the hiccups as you are, *hic* though."
Chris put his arm around her, drawing her closer to him. "Are they hurting you?" he asked gently.
"No, *hic* they don't hurt," she explained, shaking her head. "I'm just n-*hic* not looking forward to *huck* having them in church again to-*hic*-day."
"Maybe they'll be gone by then," Chris suggested.
When Hannah got the hiccups first thing in the morning, they were usually with her throughout the rest of the day, stopping only for relatively brief periods here and there. But there was always a chance. "I *hic* hope so," she agreed, laying her head on his shoulder.
In just a few minutes they had arrived. At the church door, they were greeted by Pastor Alvarez, a quiet, thoughtful man whom they had all come to appreciate in his year or so at their church. "Good morning, Miss Hannah," he welcomed her with a smile.
Hannah gave Pastor Alvarez a hug. "Hey Pastor E-*huck* Edwin!" she replied cheerfully. "How are you this mor-*hic*-ning?"
"Better than I deserve! How are you?"
"I'm doing g-*hic-ulk* good," Hannah answered, rolling her eyes at the unusually strong hiccup. She said nothing of it, though, and neither did the pastor. "So g-*hic* glad to be here!" she continued.
"We're glad to have you here!" Pastor Alvarez agreed.
In their Bible study group, Hannah, Chris, and Amanda all had the opportunity to participate in the morning's discussion. Although there was a lesson study to follow, their youth leader, an energetic young optometrist named Brian, always started by giving the kids free rein to talk about anything that was going on in their lives, or any questions they had. While some were naturally more talkative and open than others, the tight-knit group always had a lot to share. These conversations sometimes took up the majority of the class time.
This morning, when Brian asked if there were any requests for prayer and encouragement, a shy eight-grader named Ashley spoke up. Her family had recently moved in from Massachusetts, and although she rarely said anything, she came faithfully every week. "I'd like it if you could pray for, well, for me at school. I'm just having a really hard time there, you know, fitting in and all as the 'weird new kid'. Have you guys had problems like that before?"
After a couple others shared about their own experiences with fitting in, Hannah chimed in. "I think the b-*hic* biggest thing is to just remem-*hic*- ber, you're beautiful, Ashley. *huck* And you're awesome. Just *hic* let Jesus shine through, and every-*hic*-one will see it. You m-*hic* might not look like them or sound *hic* like them, but they're going to *hic* get to know and love you be-*hic*-fore you know it."
Ashley smiled, but one of the other girls joked, "Really Hannah, have you ever in your life not fit in somewhere?"
Hannah chuckled. "Maybe *hic* not, but talk about being the *hic* 'weird kid': I mean, listen to *hic-ulk* me!" The whole group laughed. "We've all got *hic* to accept who we are and *hic* live like Jesus would."
"Thanks Hannah," Ashley said quietly. "That helps a lot. But sometimes I wonder, how can I really show people Jesus and all that, if they don't care about me, or even like me? If it wasn't for you guys, I'm not sure that I'd have any friends here at all."
"Well, it might feel like they don't like you, but really they may be just as intimidated of you as you are of them," Amanda pointed out. "It can take a while to break that ice."
"It's hard when you feel like no one really likes you, especially in a new place," Brian agreed. "I've been there before. But I think sometimes we focus too much on the people who we want to like us and care about us, instead of those who really need us to care about them."
"What do you m-*hic* mean?" Hannah asked the question that she and several others were thinking.
Brian continued. "Jesus didn't spend His time trying to impress the popular kids; He was too busy being a friend to the tired and needy. I'm sure we can all think of someone we know who could use a comforting word, or a helpful hand, or even just a few minutes of our time. That's ministry; that's what being like Jesus really means."
It was a sobering thought. Hannah knew that sometimes she focused too much on her friends and her own needs rather than on those whose needs were so easy to overlook.
The group prayed together and went into a short discussion of the Bible lesson, but they had to stop earlier than usual because they were going to be leading the singing before the church service this week, and they needed to run through the songs one more time. Not everyone wanted to sing up front, but those who did gathered around the youth room's old piano. Chris and another boy brought out their guitars, and they all sang together. Hannah and Amanda both loved to sing, so they were among those who joined in.
Before long, it was time for the service to begin. Chris, Amanda, and the others sat on the front row, ready to lead the songs. Hannah made a quick trip to the back of the church, where Mr. Heinrich fiddled with the dozens of knobs and sliders of the sound system. "Hey, Mr. *hic* Heinrich," she addressed him.
"Good morning, Hannah," he said, looking up briefly from the sound board.
"We're going to *hic* be leading the praise time this m-*huck* morning, but I've got the *hic* hiccups, obviously," she explained. "Do you *hic* think you could turn my mic-*huck*-rophone down so it's not too *hic* distracting? Especially be-*hic*-tween songs?"
Mr. Heinrich chuckled. "I guess I could do that. Which mic will you have?"
"The ye-*hic*-llow one, I think. "I'm sup-*hic*-posed to introduce the *hic* last song, but other *hic* than that you can turn it *huck* off between songs."
"They're making you do that?" he asked, surprised.
Hannah laughed. "Nah, I want *hic* to! It's one of my favorite s-*hic* songs!"
"Well, I'll see what I can do," he assured her.
Up front, Hannah hardly noticed her hiccups as she sang with her friends. Sure, they made it pretty difficult to sing very well, and sometimes a loud one in the middle of a word would make her and Amanda giggle a little bit, but she loved singing far too much to care. When it came time to introduce her song, Hannah held the microphone a little closer and smiled at Mr. Heinrich. "Our last song *hic* is 'I Can Only Imagine'," she announced. "I love this *hmk* song so much 'cause it ta-*hic* talks about what it's going *hic* to be like in heaven, and that *hmk* means a lot to me. *huck* I hope it does for y- *hic* you too." With an invitation like that, who could help but sing along?
A song can mean many things to different people, but there was no question what that song meant to Hannah. Whether she would dance, pray, or sing when she was someday surrounded by God's glory, she didn't know. But there was one thing she knew with certainty: her dear mother would be right there with her. Singing along with all her heart, she dreamed of that glorious day. It made tingles go down her spine.
After the singing was finished, Hannah, Chris, and Amanda joined the rest of the family in the row where they always sat. "Y'all did great!" Sarah whispered.
Once the sermon began, Hannah began to feel uncomfortable. She slouched down in her seat slightly and put her hand over her mouth, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Still, every four or five hiccups, one would escape with a sharp *hic!* that seemed amplified in the quiet sanctuary. She felt like the preacher, a guest speaker, was getting annoyed with her, as he seemed to look her way occasionally when she would hiccup. Finally she turned to Chris, with a frustrated look. "I'm gonna *hmk* go out into the f-*hic* foyer."
"I'll come with you," Chris offered.
It would be nice to have Chris keep her company, but she didn't want to take him from the service. "It's ok, *hic* you can stay," she insisted. Nonetheless, Chris followed her. There was a small couch in the foyer, where they sat down together.
"You didn't *hic* have to come out with me; *huck* I'm ok," Hannah pressed.
"I know," Chris replied. "But I want to be with you. It can't be much fun sitting out here all alone."
Hannah smiled as he put his arm around her. "Aww, thanks. *hic* It's a lot nicer with y-*hic* you. I felt like that prea-*hic*-cher was about ready to *hic* call down fire from h-*uck* heaven on me," she giggled. "Not that *hic* I would have blamed him! *huck* My hiccups have to be sooo-*huck* irritating."
"You mean adorable," Chris corrected her.
Hannah laughed. "Whatever! I *hic* don't get why you think *huck* they're so cute; they're *hic* pretty obnoxious if you th-*hic* think about it."
"But everything you do is cute," he argued.
She giggled. "Well, *hic* I can't argue with that!"
Hannah enjoyed having Chris there to talk to. It felt so good to have his arm around her; indeed, just his being there made her feel a lot better about the situation.
After a few minutes on the couch, their half-hearted efforts to listen to the sermon were interrupted by the persistent cry of a baby, coming from the mothers' room. Nothing seemed to be able to pacify the child, as the crying went on and on.
Finally Hannah wondered, "Do you th-*hic* think they need some *huck* help in there?"
Chris thought for a moment. "I don't know, babies kind of cry whenever they want to."
"True," Hannah admitted. "I'm gonna go *hic* see, though." Getting up from the couch, she walked over to the mothers' room door and quietly entered.
Inside were three mothers and several children. The young woman with the crying baby sat in the far corner of the room, rocking him gently, while another little boy, who looked to be about four, sought her attention as well. She looked exhausted and frazzled. Hannah tiptoed over to where she sat. "Do you n-*hic* need any help?" she asked.
The young mother gave her a tired smile. "We're ok, little Adam is just fighting sleep so much. He needs a nap!"
"What's *hic* your name?" Hannah asked the other little boy.
He looked shyly at her. "Come on, you can talk to her," her mother encouraged.
"I'm Jimmy," he finally responded.
"Hi, Jimmy!" Hannah said enthusiastically. "I'm *hic* Hannah. How old are *hic* you?"
He held up his open hand, and slowly folded his thumb in, leaving only his four fingers outstretched. "Four," he answered proudly.
"That's great!" Hannah turned to address the mother again. "Do you th-*hic* think Jimmy would like me *hic* to play with him?"
"Sure," she replied. "Don't feel like you have to, though."
"No, I'd l-*huck* love to!" Hannah assured her. "Let me just go t-*huck* tell my boyfriend I'll be *hic* in here for a while. *hic* Hey Jimmy, would you li-*hic*-ke to come with me?"
Jimmy looked at his mother. "You can go," she said. He hesitantly took Hannah's hand.
"We'll come *hic* right back," Hannah promised him as they walked toward the door. "I've just g-*hic* got to tell my friend Chris *hic* that I'm going to be in here *hic* with you. I bet Chris w-*hic* would like to meet you *huck* too!"
Chris was surprised to see Hannah come out from the mothers' room with a little kid. But when Hannah explained that she was going to stay and help Jimmy's mom, he understood. "That's fine," he said. "I'll go back in and sit with Mom and Dad."
He smiled at Jimmy. "What's your name?" he asked.
"I'm Jimmy!"
"You'll have fun with Hannah; she's a pretty cool girl," Chris said with a grin.
"Are you gonna come play with us too?" Jimmy asked.
Chris looked at Hannah. "I'd better not. The other mommies might not want me to go in there right now," he explained.
"Ok. Bye Chris!"
Hannah laughed. "I'll *hic* see you afterward," she told Chris, giving him a little kiss.
As she and Jimmy walked back to the mothers' room, Jimmy asked, "Why do you have the hiccups, Hannah?"
Hannah looked down at him. "You know, *hic* that's a really good question. *hic* I don't know why. B-*huck* But I do, a lot."
Jimmy giggled. "That's funny!"
Back in the mothers' room, Hannah found that Adam had finally settled down and was drifting off to sleep. She helped occupy Jimmy, while also chatting with his mother, Serena. Hannah felt sorry for her when she learned that Serena's husband was in the military overseas, leaving her alone for much of the time with the two boys - and another one on the way.
"Wow," Hannah exclaimed. "That must *hic* be so hard for you, esp-*hic*-ecially with the kids."
"I'm tired a lot," Serena laughed. "My mom comes over and helps with the kids sometimes though. That's a big help."
"That's nice," Hannah agreed. "Do *huck* you like seeing your grand-*hic*-ma?" she asked Jimmy.
Jimmy nodded.
"Thank you for staying in here and helping with him," Serena said gratefully. "That's so sweet of you."
"No problem, I'm *hic* so glad to be able to *hic* help! I never know wh- *hic*-at to do when I have the hic-*huck* hiccups and have to come *huck* out of church. Now I *hic* can come help in here!"
Serena looked sympathetic. "Isn't there something that can stop those?" she asked. "I swear I've seen you with the hiccups almost every week!"
Hannah laughed. "If so, *hic* I've never found it. I g-*hic* get them almost every *huck* day."
"Oh gosh, that must be awful."
"I'm used to *hic* it," Hannah explained. "They don't really bo-*hic*-ther me; I just feel *hic* bad interrupting church w-*huck* with them!"
After a little while, Jimmy began to tire of the toys Serena had brought for him, so Hannah took him around the room to look at the pictures that adorned the walls. The pictures were of cute baby animals, with Bible verses next to them. Jimmy liked naming the different animals.
The last picture they came to was of a crying baby. The Bible verse read, "We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed."
Hannah puzzled over that for a moment. "Why do they *hic* have a verse about the re-*hic*-surrection on a baby pic-*huck*-ture?" she asked aloud. Then she realized that the baby in the picture was not only crying, but also wearing only a diaper. Suddenly she understood the humorous double meaning, and cracked up. "Never mind, *hic* I get it!" she laughed.
Jimmy laughed loudly too, even if he had no idea what the joke was. The mother seated in the chair nearest them chuckled too.
"Sorry, I'm bl-*huck* blonde for a reason," Hannah giggled.
"It took me a minute the first time I saw it, too," the mother admitted.
Her three-year-old daughter piped up. "You and Jimmy want to play with me?"
"Of c-*hic* course we do! Right, Jim-*hic*-my?"
Before long, Hannah was doing her best to entertain all five of the kids in the room that were old enough to play together. When their play got a little too boisterous, Hannah found a couple books on a small bookshelf. Having the children sit down with her, she read to them. Jimmy sat in her lap as they read. One book was a simple story about a curious kitten. The children giggled and laughed at the cute, playful kitten in the pictures. Another book was about Jesus' triumphal entry. With no palm branches available, Hannah had the children wave their arms in the air when she read, "Hosanna to the *hic* Son of David! Ho-*huck*-sanna!" Still rocking her sleeping baby, Serena chuckled as Hannah hiccupped her way through the story.
When it was finally time to go, the mothers thanked Hannah profusely. "Thank you so much," one said. "I haven't been able to pay attention to the sermon in months!"
"You're a Godsend," another gushed.
Hannah just smiled. "I'm glad I *hic* could help; it was a lot *huck* of fun."
Back out in the foyer, Hannah was greeted by Pastor Alvarez. "Thank you for helping with the music today; it was beautiful," he complimented her.
"Thanks, *hic* I enjoyed it!" Hannah answered. "I'm sorry ab- *hic*-out the hiccups. *huck* I hope they weren't too dis-*hic*- tracting!"
Pastor Alvarez squeezed her shoulder. "Not at all, Hannah. We're just glad you came. I hope you didn't feel like you had to leave."
"I kinda did," Hannah admitted. "But I'm *hic* glad I did because I *huck* ended up helping with the k-*hic* kids in the mothers' room and *huck* that was so much fun!"
"That's a great idea," the pastor said. "I'm sure the ladies appreciated your help."
"I think they *hic* did. And I realized that *huck* as good as it felt hav-*hic*-ing Chris there for me *hic* with my hiccups, it felt even b-*huck* better to be there for *huck* those ladies who were *hic* having a hard time wi- *huck*-th their kids," Hannah explained.
Pastor Alvarez smiled. "It really is more blessed to give than to receive," he noted.
"I kind of *hic* want to do that every w-*huck* week now!"
"You know, that might be a wonderful ministry," he encouraged.
"I didn't *hic* even think of that," Hannah said, feeling inspired. "I guess it *hic* sort of is a ministry."
"Absolutely," he agreed.
"I'm sure Amanda *hic* and some of the other girls c-*hic* could help, and I'll defin-*hic*-itely keep doing it. Maybe *hic* we could even do a child- *huck*-ren's church!" Hannah suggested excitedly.
"But only when you have the hiccups," he joked.
Hannah giggled. "Thanks, *hic* Pastor Alvarez!"
On the way home, Hannah excitedly told Chris about her new idea.
"That's a really awesome plan, sweetie," he encouraged her. "I'm sure you could get a lot of help with that, too."
"I know, *hic* I'm so excited! I'm *hic* actually glad I had *huck* the hiccups today," Hannah laughed.
"You've still got to come and sit with me every now and then, though," Chris reminded her.
"I will," she promised. "Maybe if *hic* I ever don't have the hic-*ulk*-cups!"
"Well, I guess that would still be cool," he teased.
"I tell *hic* you what," Hannah suggested with a grin. "I don't have *hic* any plans for the af-*hic*-ternoon, and I just happen to *hic* have the hiccups today. *huck* Maybe you'd like to hang *hic* out?"
Chris laughed and gave her a hug. "It's a date!"