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Episode 29: Clarissa's Diary
Clarissa Gabrielle, Room 42516
Jasper Mansion, Zebulon District
No peeking! =)
December 16
Wow, another volume already? Sometimes I think I write too much. The other day, my friend Michaela saw me feverishly writing in here and she was like, "Clarissa, seriously, you do know we have a Records team, right?" I really hope that all this is worthwhile, though. Juliana is such an avid reader that I'd like to think that she'll be interested to read all the things that she didn't know we were doing together!
So yeah, today. It was a pretty good day. Juliana had class, of course, which is always both interesting and frustrating for me. It really makes me appreciate the variety and creativity that the Master put into people, but on the other hand, it's so frustrating to see how little respect people give Him. And how little they really understand about the world - about life. I mean, I hardly know anything, and even I could show them so many things that would totally blow their minds, you know? It really makes you feel sorry for them. I'm just glad that someday it's all going to be made right!
Oh! I almost forgot to mention, I had a great idea today! I probably shouldn't go into details until I get it approved, but I'm so excited about it! When I told Brother Gabriel about it, he said I'd have to talk to the Master about it first. So I'll let you know how that goes!
December 17
I am soooo excited right now! I told you about this idea I had, right? Well, I talked to the Master about it earlier. It's an interesting feeling going before the Master. You know that story where Queen Esther had to go before the king and he held out the scepter to her? That's such a sweet story but it's pretty much how it feels going before the Master. I mean, the king was Esther's husband, and the Master is my Creator, so it's not like you're afraid that He isn't going to want to see you. But you still want to make sure everything is perfect! The really amazing thing is that, even with all the other stuff He has going on - you know, the great controversy, peace on earth, judging and interceding and all - He not only had time for me: He was excited to talk to me! I mean, here I am, one of the youngest and least experienced in the entire Kingdom - I'm not quite as young as I look, but almost! Juliana is my first assignment, you know - and yet the Master looks forward to talking to me!
Ok so the idea... He loved it!! He seemed really intrigued when I was telling Him about it, and He said that He thought we'd all learn something from it. I don't know what exactly He meant by that, but I've still got a lot to learn so I think this is going to be great for all of us.
I guess I can tell you what it is now, too. You know Juliana's friend Hannah? Well, since she lives with Juliana and they're best friends, I see her all the time. And I feel so sorry for her, seeing her having the hiccups almost every single day like she does. It hardly seems to faze her, being the sweetheart that she is, but I know it has to be frustrating for her sometimes. And that one time when I got them just for a few minutes with Juliana, they kinda hurt! It's got to be really uncomfortable having them for hours at a time. So my idea was, what if I gave her a whole week with no hiccups at all? I think that would be an awesome gift for her, especially with Christmas coming up. I know the Master wasn't really born on December 25, and don't get me started on the whole commercialization thing, but it's still a perfect time for remembering the incredible gift that the Master gave the world that night when He went to earth, and for giving some little gifts of our own.
The thing is, apparently the hiccups have to go somewhere, so rather than some other random person having them, I'm going to take them myself. That should be interesting. But the best part is: the Master said I should spend the week with Hannah so I can see the fruit of my work. I'm really looking forward to seeing how much she's able to enjoy herself not having to deal with that thorn in her flesh all the time! Michaela is going to help cover for me with Juliana, since she and her dad will be out of town most of the week. I'll miss being with Juliana, but I know this is going to be a fun week! Have I ever mentioned I love my job?
By the way, have you ever noticed how... ok wait: Clarissa, stop calling your diary "you" as if it were a person! This English language is so crazy. Whoever it was that walked away from the Tower of Babel speaking English, I'd like to have a word with their guardian! Anyway, it's really interesting to me how much Hannah and I are alike. I mean, yes we look a lot like each other, but more than that, our personalities are so similar. It's just so uncanny that both Juliana's best friend and I would be so alike. I wonder if that was by design? I'll have to ask the Master about that someday.
Sabbath, December 18
I have the hiccups right now. So if my handwriting is a little uneven tonight, it's thanks to the hiccups messing me up every now and then. It's the weirdest feeling; it's crazy how much they make me jump! In other news, I bet you can guess that my gift for Hannah started today!
She went to church today, and like usual she worked with the kids during the church service. This week she and a few of her friends had put together a special little "children's church" program for the kids. They sang some songs, read stories, stuff like that. It was really cute! Hannah actually didn't have the hiccups at first, but they started right as she was singing a song with the kids. Amanda looked at Hannah and giggled when she hiccupped really loudly right in the middle of the song, and Hannah just rolled her eyes. The kids didn't care, of course, so next Hannah went ahead and read the Christmas story to them while Amanda and the others helped the kids act it out.
Right from the start it was obvious that her hiccups weren't going to be too cooperative. "Clip cl-*huck* clop, clip-clop, w-*hic* went Small Donkey's *huck* hooves, as he sloooo-*huck*-oowly climbed the l-*hic* last hill…" It was kind of funny, I've got to admit. I could tell that she was a little annoyed by them, though. It has to be exasperating to have your life constantly interrupted by an affliction that most people can take care of in just a couple minutes.
Anyway, I wanted to put my plan in action right away, but I waited a couple pages into the story just so she'd really feel the difference. When she got to the part about angels announcing the news to the shepherds, I decided it was time. Nothing will ever begin to compare to what Brother Gabriel got to tell the shepherds that night, but I was ready to bring some good tidings to Hannah too.
I forgot one little detail. Sure enough, Hannah's hiccups stopped, but before she even realized that, I hiccupped really loud! No one else noticed because they just assumed it was Hannah, but she looked around, a little confused. I guess I didn't think that anyone would be able to hear the hiccups once I had them! So anyway, I quickly left the room and just peeked through the window. Now that I was paying attention, I was able to keep the hiccups pretty quiet, just a little *hmk* sound every few seconds! Hannah finally did notice that her hiccups had stopped, and she looked a lot more comfortable after that. I was so glad to see her happy to be rid of the hiccups; I'm sure she was surprised they went away so soon! Little did she know she wouldn't be bothered by them all week!
Of course, I still have to figure out what I'm going to do about the fact that they could hear me hiccupping! I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with Hannah, but she'll be freaked out if she hears hiccups around her all the time! I'm going to ask around and see what my friends recommend.
By the way, I already have so much sympathy for Hannah. With it being Sabbath today, we had our Celebration here as always. And I went with the hiccups! That was definitely interesting. I'm sure I've written about Celebration before: it's pretty much the most amazing thing ever.
The Master once said that "There is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repents," and let me tell you, He wasn't exaggerating. Every single person who gives their life to the Master is celebrated like crazy. Their guardian gets to talk about them; there is singing; there is music; there is praise - oh and did I mention singing? Sometimes the Master Himself even sings, and that is the most beautiful thing you could ever imagine hearing. He's amazing on the trumpet too, but I don't think anything can compare to His voice.
Today He had an especially wonderful song for us, and of course right as we all were silent in rapt anticipation for Him to begin, I hiccupped really loud. And He noticed! I mean, sure, there are like ten thousand times ten thousand of us there so you'd think I'm just a tiny face in the crowd; but to the Master, you're never just a face in the crowd. He looked at me - not just in my direction; at ME! - and gave me a knowing smile and a little wink. It was so sweet! I know He remembered what I'm doing for Hannah, and I hope I make Him proud, hiccups and all.
December 19
It's a good thing we neither slumber nor sleep, because I definitely wouldn't have been able to tonight. Yep, I had the hiccups almost all night. But I peeked in at Hannah overnight, sleeping in heavenly peace, and that definitely made it worthwhile. She'll be so much happier today having gotten a good night's rest! Other than Juliana, I'm not sure if anyone else really knows just how many nights Hannah lays awake - for hours sometimes - trying in vain to go to sleep with her hiccups. A lot of times she just thinks and prays; kind of like an involuntary meditation time, I guess! Sometimes she gives up and goes out into the living room to read for a while. Usually she does get to sleep eventually, but it's a struggle. She hardly ever complains, but sometimes she does get really frustrated!
Also, one of my friends had a great idea about how to get around the problem of people hearing the hiccups when I have them: just let them see me too! So since Hannah's been working at a big retail store, I decided to get a job there too. Who doesn't need a little more help with the Christmas rush, you know? Normally that would take a while, with applications and references and all that, but well, let's just say I have better references than most people! Hannah is a cashier there, so I just happened to show up for work this afternoon at the next register over, although I didn't have the hiccups any more.
We were both pretty busy, but we still got to talk a bit. We hit it off right away; we're so similar, even if we do come from pretty different backgrounds! She helped me so much too! I didn't know a thing about how to work the cash register, so she helped get me going with that. It was a little strange "getting to know" someone I already know better than almost anyone else, but I didn't slip up and give anything away. I wonder what she'll say when I show up to work one of these days with the hiccups?
December 20
I didn't have to wait long to find that out. Hannah had to work all afternoon today, and somehow Hannah and Clarissa just happen to have almost exactly the same work schedule! I was there a little before her, and I'd already had the hiccups most of the morning. I hadn't even gotten inside yet when a guy who was gathering loose shopping carts to bring inside looked at me funny. He must have realized he was staring, because he suddenly apologized, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were Hannah for a moment there!"
I just laughed. "Thanks, *hic* I think?" I had to wonder, is it ok to stare at Hannah or something?
"You look so much like her, and with the hiccups you sound just like her, too!" he explained.
"Oh, does she g-*hic* get them a lot?" I asked, at my innocent best.
"Are you kidding?" He looked at me as if I'd just said something totally stupid. Which of course, I had. "She gets them every freaking day. She's pretty cute but it still drives the rest of us crazy! She'll be here in a few minutes."
Soon Hannah arrived. She giggled when she saw I had the hiccups, but she was really sympathetic; she offered to get me some water and I could tell she felt sorry for me. When someone else commented on how usually she was the one with the hiccups, she explained to me, "I get the hiccups all the time; pretty much everyone knows me for that!" It's an explanation she has to use a lot.
"I don't *hic* usually get them, but I've h-*huck* had them so much lately," I said.
She thought for a moment. "I haven't had them at all in a couple days. But you just wait, that means I'm due for a major case!" she laughed.
"I bet you get a lot of *hic* reactions from customers," I commented. Even in just a few minutes, a couple customers had commented on my hiccups.
Hannah nodded. "Everyone has something to say about them. Mostly cures; a lot of people seem to take curing my hiccups as a personal challenge! Some people laugh or talk about their own hiccups; a few are even upset at me. I had a man tell me just the other day that I was totally unprofessional for having the hiccups at work!"
"Wow," I said. "I haven't got-*hic* gotten that yet! Mr. *hic* Jenkins doesn't mind, though?" Mr. Jenkins is the store manager.
"For your sake, he better not!" she teased. "Nah, he's really nice to me, he just laughs when he sees that I have them again."
Just as Hannah was saying that, who should walk by but Mr. Jenkins! He came from behind Hannah, so she didn't see him approaching. Standing right behind her, he put his elbow on her shoulder. "You're not turning her against me already, are you?" he teased.
Hannah jumped in surprise. "Oh my word, you scared me!"
"We were *hic* only saying nice th-*hic* things, we promise!" I assured him with a grin.
Hannah punched him playfully. "You're supposed to scare her!" she chided him, pointing at me. "She's the one with the hiccups today."
"Oh no!" he groaned with mock disdain. "I don't think we can handle two of you getting the hiccups all the time. Hannah is about all we can take!"
Through the afternoon and evening, I got all the strange looks, amused laughs, and misguided cures that Hannah normally gets. By the time we both were ready to leave, she seemed genuinely concerned. "Are you ok, Clarissa?" she asked with a frown. "You've had the hiccups all day! I know how exhausting that is."
I don't really get exhausted, but it had been a long day for me. "I'm fine," I assured her. "So glad *hic* to be done, though."
"I feel so bad for you," she continued. "I hope they go away soon."
"Thanks! *huck* At least you haven't h-*hic* had them, too," I mentioned.
"For real, it's nice to be able to breathe," she agreed. "You gonna be working tomorrow?"
I knew that she was off the next day, so of course I was too. "Nope," I answered.
"Cool, me neither!" she said excitedly. "Hey, me and some of my friends are going out shopping sometime tomorrow evening; do you want to come with us?" she offered.
"That sou-*hic* sounds fun!" I said excitedly.
"Awesome! What's your number? I'll give you a call when we know when and where we're going."
I was caught off-guard for a moment. She must have thought I looked kind of silly, stammering over my own phone number, but you know, I don't really have a phone! Or at least I didn't until just then. After the awkward moment, I quickly produced a phone from my pocket and fumbled with the buttons. "It's so *hic* easy to forget your own n-*huck* number," I apologized as I tried to figure out where it showed my number. You'd think I would have instinctively known how to use the thing.
"I know, right? You never have to call yourself! Here, let me give you my number, then you can call me," Hannah suggested.
We traded numbers and she promised to call me the next afternoon. Then she gave me a quick hug and we both headed out into the cold, silent night. She made the short drive home, while I went over to the park downtown to wait for the City Hall bells to ring. I don't know if that's really fair since Hannah can't do it, but the hiccups were about to drive me crazy!
You know, I wonder what will happen if Hannah tries to call me once I'm done with this? Maybe I should delete my number from her phone next week, just in case. I'd hate to run up a big phone bill!
December 21
Tonight I was out pretty late with Hannah. We ended up going out to eat and then to the mall with several of her friends. We all had a great time, but there was something that came to pass that really made me think.
We ate at this Southwest-style burrito place that they all love - it's nothing like the food where I come from, but they think it's the best ever. Anyway, we had just picked up our orders when Hannah's friend Tiffany was like "Hey guys, check out this newfangled Coke machine!" Yes, she said 'newfangled'. That's how they talk down here.
Sure enough, the restaurant had a fancy new soda machine. It had a big screen where you could pick the drink you want, with tons of flavors for each one. For a soda machine, it was pretty impressive. Of course, everyone wanted to try it out. Hannah and I had only ordered water, but she was pretty interested too. Tiffany was trying to figure out how to get Fanta Orange soda from the machine when Hannah noticed, "Oh my word, they have Cherry Fanta? I love cherry soda, but no one ever has it!"
"What about Cherry Coke? A lot of places have that." Ellie mentioned as she waited her turn.
Hannah gave Ellie an 'are you kidding' sort of look. "I don't drink Coke. Really, would you want to see me on caffeine?"
Tiffany laughed. "Heck no, Hannah! Let's never let that happen. You should get some of this though!"
Hannah frowned. "It'll give me the hiccups. Plus I only paid for water."
"Here, I'll get the cherry and we can share it," Tiffany offered. "I've never had that before."
So Tiffany got the Cherry Fanta, and once we had sat down at the table, she and Hannah stuck two straws into the cup. "That really is good," Tiffany commented.
"I know, right?" Hannah agreed, taking another sip. "You should try it, Clarissa," she offered, motioning to the cup.
"I don't think three straws will fit in there," I joked. But I took a sip through her straw, and as soon as I had, I felt myself hiccup.
When it quickly became clear that I had gotten the hiccups, Hannah gave me the strangest look. "Did you get the hiccups from that?" she asked with surprise.
"I think s-*huck* so," I admitted.
She cocked her head and thought for a minute. "That's strange, I'm surprised I haven't gotten them; soda always gives me the hiccups. Always!" she explained. As if to prove it, she took another couple sips of the fizzy drink, but no hiccups came.
"That's the weirdest thing!" she told me. "And for you to get them instead; I swear it's like you've taken over my body!" she laughed.
Free from the difficult task of eating with the hiccups, Hannah enjoyed the meal thoroughly. Before we left, she actually went and paid for a drink cup of her own so she could take some more cherry soda with her. "Gotta enjoy it while I can!" she laughed. "This is pretty cool!"
I was so happy to see Hannah enjoying a rare treat, even if a sip of that treat had given me her violent hiccups instead. And yes, I got some funny looks in the mall. But for Hannah to be able to freely sip at her favorite drink while we wandered around, it was totally worth it. Simple pleasures, you know?
How I got them the exact same way as she would have, and what she said about me "taking over her body" got me to thinking, though. I knew I was going to have the hiccups when she normally would, and bring her some comfort and joy in the process; but somehow this feels like more than that. I know it sounds weird, but I almost felt like I've become Hannah. That glaringly obvious imperfection of hers - her helpless inability to avoid getting the hiccups - it's like that's now part of me, for this week anyway. I guess I expected to just be having the hiccups for her; not feeling like they've somehow become my own.
December 22
Today I had a really cute encounter! We were at work this evening, I had the hiccups again, and Hannah had just gone on break - she ran over to the place across the street to pick up something to eat. She had been gone several minutes when her boyfriend Chris walked into the store. He came right over to the checkout area, and only seeing me from behind, at first he thought I was Hannah. When I turned his direction, he quickly realized that I wasn't Hannah - and that I had the hiccups. "Hi, can I *huck* help you?" I greeted him.
He looked at me really closely for a few seconds. And not like he was trying to figure out who I was: just, I don't know, it was almost like he was staring at me, but not quite. Finally he answered. "Oh, no, I was just looking for Hannah. She's working tonight, isn't she?"
"Yeah, *hic* she's on break," I explained. "She sh-*hic* should be back in a few *huck* minutes."
He nodded. "Oh, ok." Then he added, "Thanks, I guess I'll just wait."
I had a couple customers come at that point, but while I got them checked out, I knew he was watching me the whole time. When I was finished with them, I turned and gave him a little smile.
"I don't think I've seen you here before," he commented. "What's your name?"
"I'm Clar-*huck* Clarissa," I answered.
"Oh, Hannah told me about you," he said. It took him a moment to add, "I'm Chris; I'm her boyfriend." The poor guy could barely put a complete sentence together. I could tell he was totally distracted by my hiccups! And for a guy who likes them like he does, I guess a cute girl with a ridiculous case of the hiccups is pretty much overwhelming.
There's nothing wrong with him liking my hiccups; I mean, it's great that he can see unique beauty in something most people think is an abomination. But he also has a duty to Hannah to not be so distracted by me that it takes his mind off of her, you know? So I decided to help him out a little. "That's sweet, *hic* how did you and her first mee-*huck* meet?"
"We've been friends since we were little," he explained.
"Cute, she seems *hic* like a really sweet g-*huck* girl."
"She's the sweetest, most amazing girl ever," he said, starting to seem more comfortable. "I've never met anyone else like her."
"Awww... I bet *hic* you two are a really c-*huck* cute couple," I offered.
"Well I don't know; she's cute, at least," he laughed. "Totally out of my league!"
Feeling a little mischievous, I mentioned, "From what I've *huck* heard, though, she's usually the *hic* one with the hiccups!"
I could tell he didn't want to exactly admit that he liked that about her, but he did say, "Yeah, but she's still totally adorable."
"I can *hic* see that," I agreed with a giggle. He was so cute! I was glad to see that even if he was a little distracted by me and my hiccups, Hannah was still first in his mind.
We chatted for a couple more minutes, between customers, until Hannah returned. "Hey Chris!" she greeted him happily and gave him a hug, nearly spilling the last few of her French fries.
"Hey sweetie, how was supper?" he chuckled.
"Sooo good; I was starving!" she exclaimed. "What did you come by for?"
"I just thought I'd drop in and say hi," he said.
"Aww, thanks! Isn't he so sweet?" she gushed. "Hey, did you meet Clarissa?" she asked him excitedly. No, Hannah doesn't have a jealous bone in her body.
"Yeah, I did," he answered, looking my way with a smile.
"She's so nice, we hung out last night while you and Jules were studying," Hannah told him. "And Chris, seriously, she gets the hiccups as much as I do! I think she might have stolen mine because I haven't gotten them since we met and she's had them practically nonstop!" she laughed.
I just shrugged, with an innocent smile on my face. And hiccupped, of course.
"I noticed that; you better make her give them back!" he teased.
Hannah giggled. "Do I have to? I kind of like it better this way! I even drank a whole cup of soda yesterday without a single hiccup!"
Unfortunately, Hannah's break time was soon over, so before long Chris had to leave as she got back to work.
I love it that Hannah is really noticing not having the hiccups! And you know, at first I was worried that she'd be disappointed when this week is over and she starts getting them all the time again. But now that I know her better, I don't think it will be a problem at all. Especially when Chris is around! Did I mention they are sooo cute together?
December 23
Hannah slept in pretty much all morning today, since she doesn't have work until this evening. But I don't mind; that's given me time to get things done up here, and to catch up with some friends, too. Oh, and I had the hiccups all morning. You know, like Hannah always says, you really do start to get used to them a little bit.
My friends had the funniest reactions, though! When I visited the Records team to talk to my friend Joshua, he asked incredulously, "You have the hiccups? How is that even possible?" I explained what I was doing for Hannah, but he still said it was the strangest thing he'd ever heard!
On my way back from Records, I passed by the Tree of Life: it's in a central location here right next to the river, so I pass by it all the time. This time I had an idea. You see, it makes a different fruit every month, and this month's fruit is lemons. One of the customers yesterday told me that sucking on a lemon cures the hiccups, so why not try?
I probably looked kind of silly wandering down the riverbank, nonchalantly sucking on a lemon. But it was so delicious! Not really paying attention to where I was going, I nearly ran into someone. "Oh, Hi Elder *hic* Moses," I stammered.
"Hello, Clarissa dear," he greeted me, "How is the fruit? I haven't tried one yet this month." Elder Moses is a total sweetheart; even if he is the quietest, meekest man ever, he takes such an interest in everyone. They say that as soon as he got up here, he got to work learning everyone's names. Right after the Master created me and I finished my training, he was one of the first to welcome me. He really reminds me so much of the Master Himself. I can see why the Master fought so hard to get him up here early!
"It's amaz-*hic* amazing!" I gushed, quickly adding, "Sorry, I have the *hic* hiccups! Someone t-*huck* told me that lemons cure *hic* them but it doesn't see-*huck* seem to be working."
Elder Moses chuckled and scratched his beard. "It's the leaves of the tree that are for the healing of the nations," he reminded me.
"Oh, silly me!" I laughed. "How did I *hic* not think of that?"
"But how does a beautiful angel like you end up with the hiccups?" he asked, looking confused.
I told him what I was doing for Hannah, and how well it had been going so far.
"That's wonderful!" he said with a broad smile. "You're doing such great work. It sounds like you're walking in the footsteps of the Master in your own little way."
"What do y-*hic* you mean?" I asked, puzzled by the comparison.
"The Master gave up so much to take on Himself the trials of humanity," he explained, "and in a small way you're also giving of yourself to take on the trials of your friend."
Elder Moses soon continued on his way, but I stood there just thinking for a few minutes, lemon in hand, staring into the endless flowing waters of the river. I was awe-struck at the thought that I was reflecting the glorious gift of the Master. I mean, I knew I was doing something nice for Hannah, but to hear it in those words... wow!
I don't think anyone has ever felt so proud to have the hiccups as I did after that! Now I understood how I felt the other day when Hannah joked that I'd taken over her body. Now I understood what the Master meant when He told me that we'd all learn something from this experience. I was so amazed, so excited, I just had to tell Him right away!
It's safe to say I wasn't at my best when I arrived at the throne-room, breathing heavily from running all the way there, my hair a mess, and of course still hiccupping. But He greeted me with a warm embrace.
"I hope I'm not *hic* interrupting anything!" I said breathlessly.
"Of course not, I was waiting for you," He replied gently.
"I just had to tell You! *hic* I understand now what You m-*hic* meant when you told me I'd *huck* learn a lot from my pro-*hic* project with Hannah." He nodded knowingly, and I continued. "Elder Moses *hic* told me today that what *huck* I'm doing is a reflection of h-*huck* how You so loved the world, *hic* and that totally blew me *hic* away. Is that what *hic* you were talking about?"
He smiled broadly. "It sounds like you are starting to understand."
"What's cr-*hic* crazy is, silly as it *hic* sounds, I couldn't be prou- *huck* prouder to have the hiccups *hic* now!" I laughed. "Is *hic* that..." I stopped as another thought hit me suddenly. "That's how you feel about these, isn't it?" I said quietly, touching His scarred hand gently.
He nodded, and I silently held His hand in mine for a few minutes. Tears came to my eyes as I imagined what He must be feeling. I'm pretty sure His eyes were wet too.
We talked for what seemed like hours. This whole experience has given me such a new understanding and appreciation of who He is, and of the incredible gift that He gave to humanity by taking on their imperfections. He even told me how proud of me He is and how special I am to Him! I could have spent the whole day with Him - or a thousand years: same difference, really - but I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be at work with Hannah this afternoon! So after another long hug, I had to leave. I thanked Him for His love, for creating me, for my amazing job, for sharing this incredible moment with me, for His sacrifice for the world; but finally I left, singing as I went.
When I showed up at work, a few minutes late, Hannah teased, "Where have you been all day?"
I had to laugh. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
December 24
Today was my last full day with Hannah, so when she invited me over after work, I couldn't help but accept. Juliana and Mr. Davis have gone to visit family for Christmas, so it was just Hannah, Chris, and me. It was really fun as always seeing Chris and Hannah together. They are so adorable and so perfect for each other! Hannah did her best to make us some supper - I'll be generous and just say cooking isn't one of her spiritual gifts! - and then we had a fun time just chatting together, as the two of them cuddled up together on the couch and I sat on a blanket next to the Christmas tree. Eventually Chris had to head home; Hannah would have gone and spent the night at his house too, but they had family visiting and there was no extra room. Since Hannah was all alone, she invited me to sleep over.
Chris hadn't been gone for more than a couple minutes when I got the hiccups, for the third time today! Hannah giggled. "Again, Clarissa?"
Before I could even answer, I hiccupped really loudly, and we both burst out laughing. Finally, still giggling, Hannah gushed, "Oh my word, so like, I usually have the hiccups all the time, right? I haven't had them at all this week; it's been amazing! But poor Chris, I think he's really starting to wonder what's happened to me! He loves my hiccups sooo much. He asked me today what has happened to them and I was like, I have no idea!"
"You can *huck* have these if you'd l-*huck* like," I joked.
She laughed again. "I don't know, I'm absolutely loving not having them, but I do kinda miss them a little bit, especially when he's around."
"Just not as m-*hic* much as he does?" I asked with a grin.
"Not even close!" she said. "I think he's been kinda disappointed, but he's been really sweet about it. It's nice to know he doesn't just love me for my hiccups!"
We talked for a little while, but as time went on Hannah got more and more quiet, and I could tell she was getting sleepy. It's not like Hannah to be quiet! So finally, just before midnight, I suggested we get to bed, even though I still had the hiccups.
We said our prayers together, and as she crawled into her bed and I lay down on Juliana's, I apologized, "I hope these *huck* hiccups don't keep you a- *hic* awake."
She groaned. "I really don't mind my hiccups too much most of the time. But at night when I'm trying to sleep, they can be so miserable. I've slept better this week than I can ever remember! I hope you can get to sleep soon, too."
We lay silently for several minutes as I pondered the irony of Hannah being kept awake by my hiccups: which were really hers! Suddenly, she surprised me with a question.
"Clarissa," she began. "I really hope this doesn't sound weird. So please don't take this the wrong way."
"I'll try n-*hic* not to!" I promised.
"I don't know how to ask this but, like, where did you come from?" she asked. Then she rushed to explain. "I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean, like, this is a small town - I know pretty much everyone; you're definitely not from around here. And the way you talk is a little different sometimes. Yet it seems like you've known me all my life, and I kinda feel like I've always known you too, even though we just met the other day! And we're so much alike, practically like we could be sisters!"
I wasn't sure what to say, but she continued. "And then, when I asked you to spend the night earlier, you didn't even have to call anyone to let them know, and you've never said anything about your family. I asked Mr. Jenkins today, and he couldn't even find your application from when you started working at the store."
She still wasn't through. "And it's so weird how you've been getting the hiccups just like I would, instead of me. They even sound like my hiccups!" she chuckled. "But what really gets me is your prayer just now."
"What do you m-*huck* mean?" I asked hesitantly, surprised at Hannah's perceptive questions.
"I've just, well," she stammered, "I've never heard someone pray like that. I mean, for one thing, who calls Jesus 'Master'? But seriously, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard! It was like you know Him personally. I've never heard a prayer like that, not even from a preacher." After pausing, she apologized. "I'm sorry, I must sound so weird. I'm just really confused."
I was a little confused too, trying to think of what to say. We aren't usually supposed to tell people who we are, but then again, we aren't usually supposed to show up in their lives with the hiccups, either! I wondered if I should just disappear. But then I remembered how the Master said that we were all going to learn something from this. Now it was Hannah's turn.
"I can't *hic* explain it all, Hannah," I began. "What I *hic* can tell you is, I spend a *hic* lot of time with Juliana. I'm al-*huck* also really good friends w-*huck* with the Master. I've always *hic* felt sorry for you having the *huck* hiccups all the time like y-*hic* you do, so I wanted to let you *huck* enjoy a week without them. *hic* That's why I have them instead: ki-*huck* kind of a Christmas gift, you know? *hic* And it's been a gift for me, *hic* too! I've learned so mu-*huck* much! Plus it's been amazing spend-*hic* spending time with you and g-*huck* getting to know you better."
"So are you--" Hannah stopped herself, and was silent for a long time. Finally she said quietly, "Thank you, Clarissa. It's been amazing getting to know you, too. And thanks for taking my hiccups; I know it sounds silly but it really has been so nice not to have to deal with them this week." After another pause she added, "Can I give you a hug?"
As we embraced there, in the middle of Juliana's room, the clock on City Hall struck the hour of midnight. I pointed Hannah to the window as we faintly heard its familiar ring. "Just a second," I said. "I've g-*hic* got to cure these hiccups."
"How are you--"
I just smiled. "Shh! Count the bells."
Finally the clock stopped ringing, and my hiccups were indeed gone. "Merry Christmas, Hannah," I whispered.
Hannah was beaming. "Merry Christmas!"
Sabbath, December 25
Hannah and I ended up talking long into the night, about practically everything. We talked about where she was going with her life, about Chris, about the Master, about Christmas, even about the hiccups. But finally she fell into a deep and dreamless sleep, and I had to leave. It was kind of bittersweet, stealing away from her room as she slept so peacefully, but I knew this was how it had to be.
Early in the morning, she headed over to the Beloits' house and they opened their Christmas gifts. After all the presents were opened, and she was alone in the living room for a moment, I sneaked in. She couldn't see me, but she knew I was there. Actually, I guess it was kind of obvious, since I had the hiccups again! "Clarissa, is that you?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah," I whispered back.
"Go for it; I'm ready!" she said with a nod and a wink.
Turning toward the hall, she called out, "Chris!" followed by a sharp hiccup. She gave me a smile and a little thumbs-up.
"Yeah sweetie?" Chris said as he entered the room.
"I have the *huck* hiccups," Hannah whispered with a grin, as if it were a secret.
"Aww, really?" He was practically melting. "You're so cute, Hannah," he finally said, giving her a long hug. Have I ever mentioned they are so perfect together?!
What a week this has been! Did I ever have a story to tell in Celebration today! And you know, as we sang and praised our Master, I felt even closer to Him than I ever have before. It's so amazing to know that throughout all eternity, we'll only keep getting closer! His name has forever been 'God with us', but this Christmas, I know He is God with me.